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What are self-imposed limits? Everyone is a victim of self-imposed limits, including me. Self-imposed limits are caused by thinking that you can't accomplish something when you KNOW that you can but are not willing to take the effort to do it! The choices that you make every day are the self-imposed limits that you put on yourself.

An example of a self-imposed limit is that you must have a car before you can get a job. You may even blame me because you do not have a car or a job. But you and I both know that excuse is not valid. If you really wanted a job, you know you could get one. Again, that is a self-imposed limit. Maybe you say that you need more knowledge. Only you are responsible for what you are learning, and reading this can be a first step in understanding your own self-imposed limits. Learn as much as you can and you will find that your self-imposed limits will expand to allow you to accomplish more.


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I am not popular! Life is not just a popularity contest. While you are in high school you learn how to make friends and work with others and popularity seems to be very important. Other people in school may seem to be happy and have a lot more friends than you do. You should not consider doing drugs, having sex or taking up smoking and many other "popular" things to do in order to become popular. It is better in many instances to just say "NO" and become a respected leader and not a follower. Soon after you get out of school, your popularity in school will not mean a thing to you. Here is a book that may be of help.


How do I make choices? Everyone has to make many choices each day of their lives. Your inaction may become a self-imposed limit to what you are able to accomplish. Sometimes you may do something that you are sorry that you did later. If you do make a bad decision you need to recognize that you did make a bad decision and learn from it.

Once again, just saying "NO" and not bowing to peer pressure may be your best decision. People that say "NO" become the respected leaders instead of just followers. You may not think it through completely before you do it. Here is one way to decide if you should do it: What would your parents, friends, relatives, neighbors, teacher, or employer think of you if they saw on the front page of tomorrow's newspaper your picture and a headline stating what you had just done today? Maybe what you are getting ready to do is illegal, but at the moment you can think you can get away with it. Don't count on it. There are more people out there that are watching you than you may think. Some people may be looking up to you as a leader for guidance, but you are not aware of that fact until it is too late.


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You love my sister (brother) more than you love me! Sibling rivalry has been around for a very long time and it is not expected to go away anytime soon. I do love both of you, and that love is unconditional. From your perspective, you may think that I am not fair to you. Just remember, life is not fair, and you should use this as a learning opportunity. You may not be aware of all of the facts of the situation. I do my best to treat you both equally. I also respect both of you and respect your privacy. You may not know the complete story behind my actions and I may not be able to let you know the complete situation because I am respecting the privacy of your sibling. You should also expect that when the tables are turned I will also respect your privacy and not let you sibling know everything that may be happening.

Your sister or brother may have also demonstrated to me that they are willing to take responsibility for their actions while you have not. By taking responsibility for their actions, they have gained more respect from me and will be allowed more freedom to make their own choices. If you use off-color language to me or others in my presence, you are demonstrating how immature you are and I am not about to give you more freedom. The use of off-color language is showing a lack of respect for others and mostly for yourself. Here are some books that may be of help.


Why am I so unhappy? Being unhappy is very similar to being bored. This is a situation that you must address and correct yourself. All I can do is offer you advice. You must love yourself first before you can be happy. You may be unhappy because of decisions that you have made in the past that may not have been good decisions. You must learn from those bad decisions and be determined to grow because of them and promise yourself that you will not make those bad decisions again. Many people tend to keep making bad decisions, and will not learn from them. I encourage you to learn from them and not repeat them. You may also be unhappy because of the friends that you associate with. Analyze those friends and stay away from those that tend to make you unhappy. These friends may not be true friends.


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How does negative thinking and negative people affect me? Negative thinking and negative people tend to make you feel hopeless. You should concentrate on positive things and you will have a better outlook on life. I have seen people that are never happy because they dwell on the negatives in life and by doing so, never have the opportunity to take advantage of the positive aspects of life. The reason that they dwell on the negatives may be because they are too materialistic and do not realize that there is much more to life than things that can be acquired. You are better off if you stay away from negative thinking people and if you are one yourself, start looking at the positives and not dwelling on the negatives.


Am I a control freak? Do you try to make other people do exactly what you want them to do? I know you would object strongly if someone tried to control you in a similar manner. If you try to control other people's actions you can have a feeling of self-importance but you are not showing them any respect. Don't count on it working. Some people may obey you so they will not have to listen to you, but you have just lost some of the respect that they have for you. Other people have rights to do what they want to do, when they want to do it, and your desire to control them is not going to work and you will end up being an unhappy person. Everyone wishes to be free to do what they want to do and they will let you get away with some control, just to shut you up, but when you get out into the real world, not everyone is going to listen to you. By trying to control others, you are losing their respect for you. You had better learn to deal with not being able to control everyone, because it is not possible. Here is a book that may be of help.


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